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What Makes A Good Mom? 

At least once a week I contemplate whether or not I am meeting the standard of being a good mom. What do those words actually mean? When I was younger, before I had children, I compared it to having animals. I had even raised a puppy from 7 weeks old to almost 12 years and he was mostly well behaved, had always been sheltered and fed. I groomed him regularly and he protected me unconditionally. It was a mutual respect and we partnered together. I called myself his mom; but did I really understand the difference between my fur baby and raising a tiny human? At the time I thought that they were synonymous. I realize now, for me, the two are very different.

After a major surgery when I was 29 I was told it was unlikely my husband and I would be able to conceive naturally. Of course, we believed this notion and pulled the goalie shortly after we got married. It would take time to start a family after all… wouldn’t it? Well, if you consider less than two months time consuming then yes. At the time I was watching a close friend battle with infertility and I immediately felt guilty for finding out I was pregnant. In fact, I actually put off telling her for several months out of fear I might upset her.  Shortly into the pregnancy we found out I was carrying twins. If I was concerned about being a mom for one then doubling the bundle only doubled the concern. Sure, I had been around babies when I was younger. Holding them for 5-10 minutes, if I was lucky they would fall asleep on my shoulder or nestled in my chest. Having your own baby would only allow for these moments to happen more often, right? They tell you that seeing your baby for the first time is similar to love at first sight. I will admit there was definitely a stirring deep in my core when I held my girls for the first time but seeing them just brought fear of inadequacy.


The first time I saw Addison I went into a calm panic – I could see her across the room but was strapped down to some 2x4s and I had just been shot with morphine from the reverberating pain searing through my neck as they removed Emery from my uterus and started to sew me up. It was a weird side effect of the spinal to have pain in an area not connected to the trauma I was undergoing.  She was silent, her eyes searching the room for something familiar. She wasn’t incredibly small, at 6lbs 5oz she was decent size for a twin. Her hair, blonde and matted, fully covered her head. It was only Emery’s wails that seemed to bring her slight comfort. Emery, in contrast, wouldn’t open her eyes at all – she was aggravated someone had pulled her out of her nice warm and cozy slumber. Her wails went straight through me and added a second level of panic. Emery was bald, her round little face was squished and turning red as she let everyone know exactly how she felt. (It’s funny that now I know my Emme still loves to make a dramatic entrance.) Holy shit. How in the world were we going to handle being solely responsible for these two?! There was no way the hospital was just going to let us leave with these two tiny humans in our possession. Wrong.

I read once that being a mom is as simple as protecting, nourishing, comforting and loving your children.  Simple? Seriously? My husband and I jokingly celebrated the girls’ first birthday as “Year One of Survival” – for them and us. That first year I questioned everything – after all there isn’t a single parenting book that defines a sure fire way to calm a screaming baby at 2am. They merely provide suggestions. Doubt crept in every time I couldn’t sooth one of the babies. Was I a good mom, even though I felt like I was faking it most of the time? And then it happened. One morning when they were about nine weeks old Addison rolled over my perfectly outstretched leg while I nursed Emery and flew off the couch smacking her head and shoulder on our coffee table on her way down. There is an undeniable fear and sense of guilt that overrides any normal intelligence when one of your children gets hurt, or in this case seemingly hurt. I cried for almost 3 hours, called my pediatrician my husband and my dad, and didn’t put Addison back on the couch without being connected to my lap in some capacity for 3 days. In my mind I had made a judgement error and put my child at significant risk of getting hurt. But that’s the beauty of children – they are resilient and somehow, although tiny, much more durable than one believes. You would think that protection is a topic that might cover more than physical but in my experience with now three years olds that’s not the case. It is mostly about physical protection, “take that out of your mouth,” “don’t stick that in there,” “don’t go in the road,” “be careful,” “be gentle,” “don’t eat that,” “don’t push your sister,” “not on the stairs,” “don’t jump on the couch,” “don’t jump off the couch” … it’s a never ending list. I also realize as they get older it is protection from the world. That is a little more complicated. How can I even prepare them for the cruelties of other kids, the media or even each other. I can’t. I can only hope to teach them how to respond. How to express their feelings and give them a safe place when it all falls apart or comes crashing down.


Let’s talk nourishment for a minute. I tried, when the girls were small, to only feed them the best, homemade, natural, clean wholesome pureed food I could find or make. Then they turned two and all my handwork went right out the window. Somehow my sweet potato, squash loving little tykes would only eat chicken nuggets, hot dogs, pizza and grilled cheese. What was I doing wrong? Well, for starters, I started traveling close to that time and left all of the meals to my husband. And let’s face it, Dave is not a healthy eater. First, he only eats meats and starches and is much more concerned with ensuring the girls have some kind of food verses the type of food they have. But I have watched in wonder the way the girl’s eating habits have evolved, even without being prompted. Emery doesn’t like spice or most sauces, she likes fruit the most and while she eats more pasta and bread than Addison she will tell you when she is full. Addison will try anything on your plate (note, your plate, not necessarily her plate) including salad, broccoli, brussels sprouts and any type of meat. On a scale of 1-10 I would give us a 7 in nutrition for the girls 80% of the time. I mean, in fairness they do meet the questionable standards of the food pyramid.

Another part of nourishing I try to mold is mind and body. The girls started to practice Yoga before they were two. We used Little Yoga: A Toddler’s First Book of Yoga and after a few weeks the girl’s memorized the sequence and we followed it multiple times a day.  We still use it now, especially if we get too excited or need to calm down. We also focus on ‘nature’ (the girl’s reference to the outdoors) and spend time outside everyday – unless it’s under 20 degrees with high winds or over 95 unless we are in the shade. The girls go to a development preschool 3 days a week and also get outside time there. We play hard and work our bodies by building obstacles courses in the living room or on the porch with different crawling, jumping, squatting, rolling, hopping or balance activities. If there is an area that we do well as parents and I feel like I set a good example as a Mom it is with playing or physical activity. The girls also know that we spend time ‘exercising’ where we go to our home gym. When I can I do my workouts with or in front of the girls – partially so they can see and also so they can participate. Leading an active lifestyle is something I hope to instill into the girls routine as they get older so it doesn’t feel like a chore.

Comfort is the area I give myself the hardest time because I am not always around to comfort them when they are dealing with an emotion that creates anxiety or sadness. Traveling 3 or more days a week I have to leave it to Sabrina, Dave or another family member to provide comfort when they don’t feel good, their heart hurts, they have a boo boo or just want their mommy. And it creates the worst “Mom-Guilt” ever. I am not even sure how to define mom guilt other than to say it is not being able to do the things your SAHM friends can with their children because you chased ambition, money or other satisfaction outside of the home but then feel guilty about not being able to spend quality time with your kids as a result. Even though it is self inflicted and most Moms are harder on themselves than anyone else, it still causes emotional drain and induces stress. My heart hurts too when I don’t see the girls from Monday to Friday and unlike children, or dogs, I have a better sense of time than they do. Of course Emery will usually tell me that she saw me “yester-morning” even if it was 3 or 4 days before.


Love is the area I have down pat. I love my children so much at times it physically hurts. I cannot imagine my life without them. I love their sense of wonder and really try to allow them to experience different things just so I can see the joy on their face. I am genuinely happy just ‘being’ with my girls. Whether it is snuggling, watching a movie, playing a game, building forts out of cushions, swimming or reading a book.

So, am I a good mom? I am not perfect. I have yelled at my kids, I have spanked (gently, usually over a diaper) my kids, I lose my temper at times and have to remove myself from the situation. I struggle when they don’t listen or actively do what I am asking them not to but I love them anyway. I know that there is no greater gift or joy than watching them grow. And I hope that I never take them for granted. 

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7 P’s of Packing

Air travel is not an option for me, nor is it a luxury, it’s part of my job. The word ‘part’ is used loosely since I live in a city that is not currently in my Region. In fact, the closest company that I support is four hours away. The furthest would take 23 hours driving – if I didn’t stop for bathroom breaks. And let’s be real for a minute, my bladder is about the size of a hummingbird so now we both know I have no intentions of driving to Boise, Idaho – unless I’m on some kind of road trip extravaganza where I’m seeking out the best attractions possible. (Curious of what those might be: Click Here)

Most of my trips average three nights away from home and anywhere from two to six flights a week depending on the number of cities I plan to visit. I take one carry on bag and one backpack on every trip. When I first started traveling consistently I found that I unnecessarily overpacked and consistently brought things I never used, had overstuffed suitcases, at times had to purchase additional luggage or check bags if I bought any items.  Over the course of three weeks I tracked what I used most often and what I could live without for a few days.

Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance so I start with the backpack filled with what I deem Work Essentials. Most of these items (sans large electronics) stay in my bag full time and I purchase a second set for home if needed.  This ensures I don’t have to repack every week before I leave and can use that extra time to get a few extra snuggles or giggles with my girls.

  • Cell Phone (and charger)
  • Wristlet or Wallet – Large enough to carry phone and essentials
  • Laptop (and charger)
  • Spiral Bound Planner (Yes, I’m old school but this Best Planner Ever  is perfect for taking notes and writing down messages throughout the day)
  • Portable Charger
  • 2 Quart Size Ziplock Bags
    • Charger cords, mifi & cord, earbuds x2, portable mouse, thumb drive & wireless presenter
    • Common Medicine: Excedrin Migrane, Day/NightQuil, Melatonin, Bonine (motion), vitamins, Aleve, Chapstick, hand/surface sanitizer wipes
  • IPad or Tablet
  • Snacks: Fruit, Granola, Almonds
  • Scarf
  •  Oddball items – 1-2 Magazines or Books, Thank You notes, 2-4 pens, hairties, sunglasses & case, work badge, gloves

Then I focus on the wardrobe essentials. My position is business casual and I have a relatively classic style. I also visit several different climates as I cover from Fargo, North Dakota to Albuquerque, New Mexico so checking the weather is a MUST before I leave. A good friend and colleague once told me, “There is no bad weather only bad clothing/shoes.”

Side story:  Not that long ago, was caught in Mounds View, MN with peep toe wedges, no gloves or hat in 3 feet of snow. It’s a good thing all cars in the North come with a scraper for your car but no so good when it takes a few hours for the feeling in your extremities to return.

I digress, when I think about packing I start with the shoes – appropriate for the weather – and work backwards. I use a Samsonite Lightweight 21″ spinner. For a typical 3 night, 2 city, fall trip I would pack the following clothing items:

  • 2 Pair of Dark Slacks / 1 Pair Jeans
  • 3 Camisoles/1 Bra/4 Pair Underwear/Socks (dependent on Shoes)
  • 3 Blouses (*Always have 1 extra shirt in case of an incident)
  • 1 Sweater (To be worn over Cami or Blouse or in the event of chilly offices)
  • 1 Blazer (White is my favorite)
  • 1 Dress (tights if necessary)
  • Tieks (Best Walking Flats)
  • Black Pumps

Optional For Exercise

  • Tennis Shoes
  • 1 Pair Running Shorts / 1 Pair Yoga Pants (If you run everyday or sweat consistently then add 1)
  • 2 Sports Bras (See note above)
  • 3 Athletic Tops
  • 1 Travel/Folding Yoga Mat 

I also have a Cosmetic Bag that holds makeup essentials, contacts, deodorant, wide tooth comb, and toiletries.  I have a separate jewelry bag that I add a few statement pieces. I always try to wear no more than 3 pieces of jewelry including a watch. (BTW – Bracelets count as 1).

**Anytime I am flying with the twins I check our largest suitcase with clothes and my carry on (I use a Weekender Bag) has these items:

  • Phone (cord and portable charger)
  • SNACKS
  • Pull Ups/Extra Panties
  • Flushable Wipes
  • SNACKS (Fruit, PB&J, trail mix)
  • Kids Tablets (power cords, ear phones – the big ones that cover their ears in the most popular kids print – Find some Here)
  • Extra Shirts/Shorts or Leggings (For me and each child)
  • Pullover (Each Child)
  • Scarf (For me)
  • SNACKS
  • Water Cups (to refill at anytime – TAKE these through security EMPTY)
  • Medicine Quart Bag (From my normal travel bag but I add Children’s Tylenol, Dramamine, and vitamins) *Extra hand sanitizing wipes
  • Coloring books & Crayons
  • 2-3 Paperback Books (Child)
  • SNACKS (I cannot stress how important this has been in my travel experience with kids)

At the end of the day it is easy to overpack, even if you are only going overnight but I have rarely found myself in a position where I had to purchase something I couldn’t live without.  Happy Packing.

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No Horsing Around

I had the unique opportunity to learn something amazing about leadership, myself and teamwork and I feel compelled to share.

A few months ago our team was asked about two leadership development opportunities. The first was in a normal classroom setting where we would explore finding purpose as both individuals and a team. The second was portrayed as a leadership development program utilizing equine guided coaching. After much discussion the team felt the experience with horses was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It might have been one of the best decisions we have ever made.

About 3 1/2 hours north of San Francisco off of Highway 1 (Pacific Coast Hwy) is a quaint little area called Point Arena, California. There sits over 500 acres known as Casari Ranch. The property itself is sprawling and will practically take your breath away as you start up the nearly mile long drive to the house. Greeted by chickens, sheep, dogs, llamas, ducks and other animals natural to the land I knew it was going to be an adventurous day.

Our team of 7 was welcomed by Ariana Strozzi and her family into their home where our day started with breakfast. They fixed egg frittata with fresh eggs, fruit and sourdough bread with homemade jelly.

Following breakfast we spent some time in an area above the garage dubbed ‘the classroom’ as a group thinking and talking about our greater For the Sake Of What – what was our story, our vision, our challenges and our purpose. We talked about what we hoped to get out of the day and Ariana set some ground rules (don’t feed the dogs or the cats). She added a little definition and context around somatics – mind, body and spirit working together as one to embody the presence of an individual or team.

And then it was time for our first test as a group. She asked us to walk, in silence, to the arena where 5 horses were waiting for us. Of course there were multiple ways to get there but we somehow came to a deadens and had to climb through the fence. I was wondering if this was a sign of what was to come.  We went out to the arena and took some time getting to know the space. The area had a large round Arena with 2 circular attachments, one on each side. The horses were in the farthest circle from where we walked up. They looked over at us but then went back to interacting with each other. After a few minutes we walked over (outside the fencing) towards them to see if they wanted to get to know us. There was definitely a dominant mare who made it clear when it was ok to engage us. At times she would use her whole body to shield the other four horses from making contact. They were curious about us, liked the attention and allowed us to touch them to gain familiarity. I stood back slightly – I like to observe first to see the reaction and then approach depending on a mutual silent agreement.  We then spent some time as a team working through different challenges trying to get the horses attention and encourage them to do things we asked. They may have been curious about us but no enough to do anything we asked. Either way, I’m not going to focus on that aspect as it was a core group activity and I can’t speak for everyone. After a little exasperation or frustration it was decided we would break for lunch.

Mmmm lunch. When you are visiting a ranch they feed you from the land with local, sourced, sometimes home grown deliciousness. For lunch we enjoyed a freshly chopped salad and Tomato soup.

In the afternoon we did an exercise where each person had to lay out their individual intention for leadership without being tactical and then had to own that committment and lead a horse named Ruby around and Arena. Have you ever tried to lead a horse who doesn’t really have an interest in going anywhere with you? It is not as easy as it looks. I have never been around horses much. In fact, before that moment, I was actually quite nervous and a bit scared of horses. I mean, they are seriously huge, beautiful, mindful animals but intimidating. As I walked up to Ruby and took the reigns I started to state a declaration, a purpose, something I was planning to work on in my own leadership. Ruby started moving around, I put my hand on her neck to settle her but I was uneasy, uncomfortable. She was too. She knew I had not idea what I was doing though she stood close to me, almost giving me her energy to feel strong. After I stumbled my way through a declaration, removing the tactical pieces, which I tend to lean towards, I was to lead Ruby around the arena. So I stood beside her and started walking. She didn’t budge. She didn’t even shift her weight. I walked back to her looked her in the eyes put my shoulders back, made my declaration again and started to move forward. Again, nothing. She was practically laughing at me, her eyes staring deep in my soul.  My vulnerability showing. I walked back to her again. This time I thought about what I was saying, thinking through each word and the meaning behind it. I took a step back, relaxed my jaw, slacked on the reigns, looked forward and moved first with my gut. Ruby started walking with me. Her head beside my shoulder. We got about 30 feet and I felt a little unsure about how quickly to start turning. The self doubt quickly seeped in and Ruby stopped. Firmly rooted in the ground. Then she took a big shit. I couldn’t help but laugh. Then I stood beside her, told her where we were going took a deep breath, put my shoulders back and started to move forward again. She walked with me. I kept my eyes ahead making decisions and I told Ruby that I was glad she was with me, jealous of her ocean view, and teased her for not coming to play in the morning. By time I finished the circle I felt as if I could have walked her around again and again.

I felt connected. I believed in myself. I tried to store and savor the moment where I was laughing and leading Ruby. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. She didn’t have to walk with me, had no reason to follow me but she did. It was empowering.


I have a love of nature but this experience was different. This was connecting to the land and the animals in a way that was purposeful. Harnessing the energy around you. I believe in somatics and the connection between mind, body and spirit but this was an all encompassing opportunity to see it working together.

The experience also encouraged me to think about how I lead my team and how I show up everyday. I know they won’t follow me if I don’t give them a compelling story but first, I have to build the story and believe the story in my soul.

I am balanced in order to ensure I meet my family and work commitments.

Other tidbits about the area:

Best place to stay with a view: Sea Cliff Motel

Best Coffee: Trinks

Best View/Tour: Point Arena Lighthouse – ask for Mark – he is in the know on restaurants & things to do. If you’re super polite he might even take a picture for you with the lighthouse in it.

Best Dinner: St Orres – Look for Rosemary, she may have a few Schnauzers with her and ask for Lupe’s Basil Martini. If you’re lucky she might even sing with you!

Best Bakery on the ride back to San Francisco: Tomales Bakery – seriously, you can smell the goodness from across the street.

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Obrigado Sabrina! 

Addison and Emery were 17 months old when I accepted the position of a traveling nun. Ok, so maybe not a nun exactly – though the seclusion and lack of sex life feels like it could be comparable at times. The idea of starting a new position after being with my company for almost 10 years was exciting and I found my inner ambition all over again. The interview process took a grueling 9 weeks which means I should have had plenty of time to prepare my husband for the obvious – he was about to become Mr. Mom approximately three days a week. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? I mean the girls went to daycare five days a week plus they are only awake one hour before and an hour an a half after.  We are talking seven and a half hours of awake time for crying out loud, how bad could it be?

I had been in the new role for seven weeks when I got the call where Dave started with “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” Wait, hold the phone, do “what” exactly?! I was sitting in an parking garage at an Embassy Suites in Houston, it was 9:30pm and I hadn’t even checked in yet. It was only my sixth week of travel and I was going to be home after two nights. “Addison stayed up from midnight to three am. We need to figure something out.” I agreed that night to look into nanny services.

Have you ever looked for a nanny? It’s basically a full time job. Hours pouring over resumes and profiles on care.com only to see the majority of the candidates didn’t fit our needs. What exactly would a job description for what we needed look like?

Must be able to work 45 hours a week, early mornings and evenings plus at least one weekend day. Ability to lift and carry two toddlers weighing approximately 30lbs each at all times. Short order cook experience a plus. Calm and collected demeanor even when aforementioned toddlers cry for no reason, throw food (or poop) at you, hit each other, hit you, or do the exact opposite of what you asked them. Light laundry, cooking and cleaning. Must be able to walk, crawl, stoop, squat. Noise environment is generally loud. 

I wasn’t finding anything that met our needs. So I reached out to Facebook to get recommendations on a live in nanny or au pair. Within a few days one organization kept coming up – Cultural Care so I read all of the fine print and I researched (read: googled) au pairs, J1 visa,  programs and then signed up for an account. I mean, it felt perfect – a customizable program to fit our needs with few restrictions.

In our program the major restrictions/rules are: 1) Cannnot work au pair more than 45 hours a week. 2) Au Pair must have 1.5 days (36 hours) off consecutively per week. 3) Au Pair has 1 weekend per month off (Friday night – Monday morning) 4) Au Pair receives 2 weeks vacation per year. 5) Au Pair lives with the host family and has their own room, with a door. 6) Au Pair is to be paid weekly (approx $200 for our program). 7) Food and living expenses are paid by host family. 

Once I felt like I understood the rules I started looking for Au Pairs on Cultural Care’s site – this was a bit like match.com. The process is fairly simple – you complete a profile about your family and the needs you have and then you place “available” Au Pairs on hold. They review your profile to see if it matches their needs and if it does then you connect – typically via email first to communicate more.

It took me 4 weeks and 14 attempts at contacting candidates before I came across Sabrina’s profile. My main problem before Sabrina was that the candidates shyed away from being left alone during the week with Dave, my husband. (Side note: I find this to be comical as he is quiet, keeps to himself and isn’t exactly a deal closer if you catch my drift) She was 24, from São Paulo, Brazil, had two brothers and her interest where architecture, photography and the outdoors. She had some experience watching kids and had even been a teacher and mentor. Soon we connected via email. We started slow at first asking common questions about values and the types of environments we were raised in. Then we moved on to what we were both hoping to gain from the experience and discussed the girls’ personalities. After a few weeks of emails – at least 2-3 per week – we started to Skype. Sometimes we Skype with the girls so they could hear her voice and she could see them but also with Dave so she wouldn’t be intimidated or nervous by him. Skyping was by far the best way to determine her English level (perfect 10, sometimes her grammar is better than mine!), her temperament and demeanor (soft spoken, calm, peaceful, happy, silly) and really feel the engagement level she had for the program and the experience. We talked about everything we could think of from whether or not she would have access to a car, to meals and foods we both enjoyed, traditions, and even boys. It was almost like having a new friend or pen pal that I was going to invite to live in my home. Further, it was an opportunity to get to know the woman that potentially would be spending more time with my kids than I would be able to (mom-guilt post coming soon).


Sabrina joined our family on April 1, 2016 (Picture was taken the morning after her first day – the girls instantly connected.) The first couple weeks were a little distant as we were all getting used to the new normal. Plus Sabrina had to get over her timidness about opening the fridge. (Sidenote: In Brazil its rude to open someone’s fridge if you don’t have permission and even then it’s iffy.) But slowly we all started to mesh and find our routine. Sabrina has basically had the same schedule since her second week with mild variations around holidays. She keeps the girls full days on Tuesday and Thursday and also works most Saturdays. Monday, Wednesday and Friday she assists most mornings and evenings depending on her weekend schedule. She has spent countless hours researching ideas and crafts to keep the girls busy, she reads to them, plays games with them, teaches them songs, colors, and numbers in Portuguese.  She nourishes and comforts them, helps them to understand their emotions and communicate. Sabrina encourages them to be individuals and in return, the love her. She is the only big sister they may ever know.

And I am forever grateful. Obrigado por ser uma parte da nossa família. Sua amizade e amor sempre serão lembrados mesmo depois de você sair. Você sempre terá um lugar em nossos corações e nossa casa. May you always know how blessed we are because of you.



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Interview Day is here

You got the call, your interview time and day is set. You have done your homework about the company. Your (ONE page) resume is printed and ready to go. It’s the night before, now what?! 

Does your car have gas? If no, either go fill up or plan to leave early in order to stop and still arrive early! 

Set your alarm, don’t leave waking up on time to chance. Pull out and, if necessary, iron your outfit. 

Make sure you have your ID, a notepad (with all your questions prewritten of course), a working pen (and a spare) with copies of your resume ready. If you are currently working, make sure you have made arrangements at your current employer. (Until you get a new job and have given proper notice you still have responsibilities to your current employer)

Get a good night sleep… 

In the morning – shower. Ok, so maybe that is obvious but this is your first impression and you only get one chance. Use deodorant but dont go overboard with perfume, in fact, I prefer solid perfume (Find some here) that is easily put on pulse points but not overwhelming. 

Once you arrive and you are waiting for the interviewer be sure to acknowledge others that walk through the lobby – they may be future coworkers, or even the CEO.

Remember to shake hands, like you mean it, and let the interviewer know of a preferred name if you go by something informal. (Bob/Robert, Tess/Teresa, Becki/Rebecca)

The magic of interviewing is when it feels more like a conversation than a forced Spanish Inquisition. Offer a printed copy of your resume, let them know if anything has changed since you applied for the position. They will probably ask you to run through a brief history – brief is the key word here – start with your current position and work your way backwards. Highlight the key accomplishments, leadership development, and any other major notables.  For example, if you lead a team of 15 and 2 of those associates were promoted that is something to highlight. If you were the lead on a major project that stayed on time and budget it may be a a good subject to bring up. If you developed or implemented a significant business change that may also be notable. Interviewers will interrupt you if they are interested to know additional specific info so give enough detail that it creates additional interest. 

Do not, I repeat do not, at any time bad mouth a previous employer. If you had a difference of option on direction or personality and that was reason for leaving it is ok to mention with tact but it is not professional to bash another company. Certainly, everyone has non negotiables that they expect but it’s best not to air dirty laundry. 

Once you get to the point in the interview where they start asking you detailed questions many will begin with “describe”, “tell me about”, “can you give me an example of…” This is a cue that they are looking for specific information; not general statements.  

Here is an example: 

Q: Can you tell me about a time when you had to lead a team through change?

A(1): I am great at change. My last company was always changing and adding new things. We just ensured to communicate as much as possible.

A(2): In my role at ADE co. I was responsible for rolling out a change in our recruiting platform. The first thing I did was aligned a team to assess the needs of the new technology. Then I worked with a team of 5 to create a stakeholder analysis to determine who would be impacted by the change. Then I determined a timeline and communication plan for those stakeholders. Further, I led a team that designed the training and implementation plan. We were able to implement the new platform with few roadblocks because we had integrated comments along the way.  Currently, that company is still utilizing the new system. 

Note how these two responses are different. The first doesn’t give any example, just boasts how great the applicant is with change. (Most common answer – Not good, not good at all) The second is better, it identified the situation (changing recruiting playform) the action(s) taken by the candidate (utilized common change tools to assess and implement) and the outcome (still using the system).  Every question where you are asked for a specific should follow this format. Stay away from absolutes “I always…”, “I never…” as they create skepticism. 

Sometimes interviewers ask questions about your future preferences. The age old “Where would you like to see yourself in five years?” is still common. These questions are designed to make you think and determine if you have authenticity and the ability to articulate what your future goals are. So, take the time to think about what you want for your future. It will change the way you look at jobs, companies and help you to find ways to accomplish those goals. 

As you come towards the end of the interview you will get an opportunity to ask questions. Ask at least one question. Unless, of course, during the interview you realize you really dislike the company, the hiring manager and do not want a job offer. Here are some questions you can use as thought starters: 

What does a day in the life of “xyz position” look like? 

What are the typical hours for this position?

What does training for this position entail?

Does the company have a tuition reimbursement program? 

What is your leadership style? 

What is your preferred communication style?

Can you describe the culture of the organization? 

What are the next steps in the process? 

When the interview comes to a close thank the interviewer for their time. Express your excitement about being considered. Shake their hand. 

Send a thank you note. Preferably a handwritten card, but if you must send an email at least make sure you don’t send the same note to each person you interviewed with at the same company. 

Other side notes: 

1) Use different examples if you have multiple interviews. 

2) If the company uses someone outside the local company to schedule the interview – follow up with them after the interview. 

3) You’re goal is to get an offer, from there you can determine if the position is the right one for you. 

4) Always give a 2 week notice. Always. If they don’t accept it that’s ok, but you should offer. 

5) Smiling is the best accessory you own. 


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Resumes and Interview Prep

As an HR professional I have sifted through thousands of resumes over the last 12 years. Trust me, I’m not bragging, it’s one of the most tedious things that one can do – specifically if you are searching for the top talent your company wants you to find – and by find, I don’t mean a week from now, I mean yesterday. 

While recruiting and searching for the best and brightest is a little different in 2017 (hello, LinkedIN), providing a good old fashioned resume is still proper etiquette when arriving at a face to face interview. And let’s just get a few things out of the way here:

1) ONE page – might feel like I’m yelling at you, I am. Do not bring 4 pages, do not use front and back, do not staple. One page of the most pivotal achievements in your career. One page that begs me to ask for more. (Numbers and specifics are generally acceptable)

2) Please do not provide work history over 7-10 years – I, nor any other hiring manager, don’t care about the internship you did 16 years ago. I also don’t care that you held 43 different job titles at the same company virtually with the same responsibilities.

3) Remove the fluff. “Gets great results.” “Responsible for sales improvement.” “Superior manager with quality leadership ability.” What this tells me is you spent more time psyching yourself up writing your resume than preparing for the interview. 

4) Do not add perfume or cutesy fonts. You are not Elle Woods (if your name is Elle Woods I sincerely apologize and this is merely a coincidence). I want to be able to breathe and quickly read your resume without having to get out a magnifying glass, put on readers or guess at the type font. 

For the interview itself. A few things should be common sense but let’s review them anyway. First, be on time, by on time I mean 15 minutes early. Yes, you will probably have to wait but 1) it shows that you are interested in making a good first impression and 2) it’s reasonable to believe you will arrive on time for your job if you are the lucky recipient. Second, when shaking the hand of the interviewer use a firm grip. No fish handshakes. Also, if you are a sweater at least wipe your hands on your pants or bring a paper towel to soak it up before shaking hands. Third, do not bring your mom, your friend, your kids (if a dire emergency please let the office know in advance) your parole officer, counselor, your cousin or anyone else unless you need an interpreter and if so, please prepare the interviewer before the interview. And fourth, dress like you are trying to make a good impression. Appropriate dress for interviews vastly depends on your industry and the type of job you are applying for. If you are applying for a sales job then dress as if you are going to meet a customer. If you are applying for a diesel mechanic then work pants are probably fine. Regardless of the industry (unless you are in entertainment or self promoting) flip flops, gym shorts, midriff baring ensembles, or slogan t-shirts are not a good idea. If in doubt wear (men) a button down shirt and slacks, with or without a blazer and (women) a sweater or blouse with a skirt or pants. A dress with a jacket or cardigan is also acceptable. 

In your interview prep – get to know the company you have applied to. It is important to research the company – how big is the company – employees and sales? Are they publicly traded? How are they structured? How is their leadership team comprised? How do they support sustainability? Are the involved in the community? Do you want to be affiliated with them and the causes they support? 

While preparing for an interview worry less about what you will be asked during the interview and more about the specific information you want to obtain about the company, the job, expectations and communication preferences from your “next boss.” 

I’ll discuss how to act like a pro during the interview itself in the next post. 

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Sunday-Funday

It turns out that relaxing on a Sunday has a very different meaning today than it did ten years, even four years, ago. Those days were filled with crowded bars or hotspots watching football with other like minded fans cheering while drinking a beer or six. The week ahead and my mood were fully dependent upon whether or not the Pittsburgh Steelers showed up on game day. To be fair, I still watch the steelers (though rarely in real time) on football Sunday but my priorities have a changed a bit. 

Meet Emery, the youngest of our clan – by 3 minutes, a budding fashionista and photographer. Today, week 2 of Steeler football, I spent the first half assisting Emery so she could provide “pedicures” to my fabulously patient friend Sarah. She also took approx 11 pictures on her mini camera and even posed for the picture below.  The blue eyes and bright smile say it all. She feels loved, knows she is a priority and had a grand time with the “big girls” while her sister entertained inside. 

Priorities have changed. We still won though.